Last night, while driving home from Patrick’s house, I had my “wedding playlist” playing in the background. I spent an entire day making that playlist, and completely forgot to play it at the wedding. The songs on that playlist are all songs that cause very strong memories or emotions inside of me, and what’s weirdest about it is that they are all really specific and strange memories. I’m going to list a bunch of songs here that are in that playlist, and just to show you all how my crazy memory works, I’ll list the specific memory that the song brings back.

1. Jack and Dianne by John Cougar Mellencamp this is one of the earliest songs that brings back a memory. I think the only one that brings back an earlier memory would be Ebony and Ivory. When I listen to this song, I remember driving in my father’s truck back in the year 1983 or 1984. I would have been five or six years old. I am in the truck with my friend Dianna and my father, driving past his place of employment, PG&W. There was an old video tape rental store, and we stopped there and rented the Wizard of Oz.

2. Ebony and Ivory this song isn’t even on my ipod, but yes, it does bring back a specific memory, so I suppose I’ll list it. This one’s really old and really weird. I’m at Ponderosa steak house with my parents and my grandfather, and we’re walking out to the parking lot. I am telling my grandfather how I love that song. That’s all I remember. I don’t know when that song was popular, but I had to have been really really young at the time.

3. Crashing Down by Soul Asylum this song, of course, is my favorite song of all time. The memory associated with this song is not a pleasant one. I was on a field trip for French club or Art club, and my best friend at the time had pretty much told me that she hated my guts and that I was annoying. We were at some sort of mall when this all happened, and I was in 9th grade. I had gone to the music store and purchased the cd that this song was on, and on the way home on the bus I sat there, lying on the seat and crying, listening to the cd. Track 4 came on, and I hit the repeat button, and that was how I pretty much spent the next two days.

4. It’s the end of the world as we know it, by REM Each time I hear this song, my memory wanders to a snow day in 12th grade. My mother and father took me to the Steamtown mall for the first time, which seemed like a very faraway and exotic place to me back then, because I couldn’t drive yet. I discovered they had a Suncoast video that carried VERY rare anime. I bought Maris the Chojo, and then got some chinese at the food court.

5. Toxic Toast by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones I think this one is from 11th grade, but it might be 12th. I can’t remember exactly when this CD came out. This song brings back two memories. One is of me sitting in front of the television in my basement, playing Final Fantast 6 and being in the town of ZoZo. Another is driving to some weird convention that my mother had to go to in Reading. We dropped her off, and then headed over to some farmers market. I was with Amanda and she and I bought pumpkins, gourds, and all sorts of halloween related stuff. It was sometime in late september or early october.

6. Someday I Suppose, by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones This song reminds me of my very first Macintosh computer, which I got back in 1994. It reminds me of sitting on it for hours and hours and drawing covers for my comics. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I could actually be a famous comic book artist or animator someday. Hah. The dreams we have when we’re kids.

7. Where is my Mind, by the Pixies You’d think that Crashing Down would remind me of the Crystal Cave, but it is this song that brings back the memory of my trip there. And yes, the Crystal Cave is real. Amanda and I went to an orientation at Kutztown back in the fall of 1995, our senior year. After Kutztown, we saw a sign for a place called “Crystal Cave” which was right outside of KU. My father took us there, and my mother went to some mall to shop. I remember the cave being less than spectacular, but I went to the gift shop and bought a crystal, which I still have today. It’s actually the crystal that my character wears around her neck in the comic, the Ghost Crystal. My level in little big planet, the crystal cave in autumn, is also based on this trip I took back in 1995.

8. Jason’s Head by the Dead Milkmen This song will infinitely remind me of Thanksgiving. Actually, the Dead Milkmen in general will always remind me of Thanksgiving. In 1993, my grandma Hedy was very close to death. We didn’t know this, but it was our last Thanksgiving we’d spend with her. I remember her at Thanksgiving dinner that year, and her eyes were so bad that she accidentally started to eat her napkin, and then started crying. I think even she knew. After dinner I went home and played Shining in the Darkness and listened to the “If I had a Gun” EP by the dead milkmen. That one was kind of a sad memory.

9. Drivin’ on 9 by the Breeders I went to a lot of college orientations, because my parents had made me apply at a bunch of stupid schools that I didn’t want to go to, nor did I care about in the slightest. If it were up to me, quite honestly, I would have never gone to college. This brings back a memory of driving to one of the many pointless college orientations, this time in Mansfield, which is out in the middle of NOWHERE. It reminds me of antique shops, getting stuck behind plows, and a whole lot of farm land. We didn’t have a CD player in the car, so I remember carrying some sort of portable stereo with me.

10. Nevermind by Nirvana I’ve gone and saved the most excrutiating and heart breaking memory for last for some reason. This entire album brings back probably one of the saddest times in my life. I’m referring to my grandfather’s death back in 1992 (i think that was when it was. All that stuff has blurred together in my mind now) My parents didn’t seem to want to tell me that he was dying. I don’t know if they thought that my puny brain couldn’t handle it or what, but in hindsight, it was the worst possibly way that they could have handled it. People tend to hide things from me, and it’s always much worse when the truth comes out. They were at the hospital all the time, and I was naive. I would always say “I will see him when he comes home” … my parents never bothered to correct me and say “he isn’t coming home”. I loved him. He was quite honestly my best friend in the entire world, and I never got to say goodbye to him. I’d sit at home, completely aone while my parents were at the hospital. Nevermind would be on in the background, and I would be playing Final Fantasy 2. That was what I buried myself in, and I think it’s why it’s my favorite game of all time. That game saved my life, and that album was right there with it, keeping me from going insane. I can’t really help thinking about those times when I listen to that album, but I don’t feel sad when I listen to it, so I guess that’s a good thing.

Well, to the two people who read this blog, I hope you’ve enjoyed my crazy rantings. I figure I’ll do more at some point in the future, because I have many more songs that bring back weird memories. If anyone else is weird like me, feel free to leave your songs and the memories they bring back in the comments section.

Until next time!

I saw the Michael Jackson video on youtube the other day where they recreated two of his videos (kind of). I said to myself, “Hey, I can do that too!” and I set out to create a little big planet music video. Normally, I would have a youtube link for you all to look at, but apparently YouTube knows when you’ve uploaded a video containing a song that has been bought up by a major record label. Even if the song is 25 years old and no one like it but me. Meanwhile, that michael jackson video sits proudly at the top of everyone’s youtube playlist. I just don’t get it. I will say this though: I put up with the record industry’s DRM bullshit, and up until now, their tomfoolery wasn’t affecting me. The minute I try to pay tribute to my favorite song, though, I’m not allowed to. I’ve never seen an industry that hates it’s paying customers so much. That’s a rant for another day, though

Back to the main reason I’m writing this…

Anyone who knows me knows of my sordid love affair with the song Crashing Down by Soul Asylum. Anyone who doesn’t know about it can read about it here.

It is as if the song were written for me. Any song with a ghost and a crystal cave in it is all right with me.  It is only natural that I would choose this song to do a little big planet music video.

All the levels and objects that are seen in this video are created by me, with the exception of the dinosaur. I won this in a level called “Totally Awesome Two”, but this is not the original creator of the dinosaur. This video depicts what I think the song is about, and what it means to me. I’ve had this idea in my head for a long time, and little big planet has given me the perfect venue to express myself.

I have to also state that if my comic were ever made into an anime, the song used in this video would be the song I would want as my theme song. ^_^

This will most likely be the last thing I do that is little big planet related for a little while. This game is destroying me, to be quite honest, and I’d like to not be destroyed. I will still be active in forums, I will still do reviews and promotions for levels  and I’ll still play online, but if I continue on the path that I am on right now, I will probably explode or implode, whichever one is worse. I need to take a breather and focus more on the comic. It’s not that I’ve ever stopped focusing on the comic, but honestly, I’ve lost too much sleep/time/etc on this game.  I don’t know about the rest of the level creators out there, but I’m spent. Just totally and utterly spent.
All that being said, please enjoy this video that i’ve made. If you can’t understand the words, please refer to this post, because it also has the words to the song in it.  And now, without further ado, I present to you…

Crashing Down with Little Big Planet

Wow, it’s been a while since i’ve been here, but the animation is almost done, so i figured, what the hell.

I don’t know how many of you know this or not, but I, when I was a kid, wanted to BE Cyndi Lauper. I’m not entirely sure why, cause she’s kinda scary looking, now that I look back at it… but… I wanted to be her. I would dress up in all of my dad’s clothes and I would say “look at me, i’m cyndi lauper!”…

Recently I discovered that you can download her videos on itunes. I bought Time After Time and I can’t stop watching it. As a kid I never really followed the story of the video or listened to the lyrics that I was singing, but … the video is the saddest thing ever.

Basically it’s about a girl who falls in love with this really great guy, and they’re totally in love, but she wants more. She wants to run away and become some sort of great singer or something. The video opens with her lying next to the boy she loves, and he’s fast asleep, and she just thinks about whether she should leave and try to make something more out of her life. … Oh, man, it’s just so sad though. She leaves while he’s still sleeping and he runs after her and says that he’ll go with her. They get to the train station and he says “I can’t go” while shaking his head. She turns and gets on the train and a tear falls down her cheek. I just never realized how powerful a video can be.

Maybe I’m just weird, who knows. Anywho, here’s a screen cap from the video. It’s kinda a weird one, but I thought it was sorta funny and set it as my wallpaper. I want to know where she got that giant glass dog.

Oh, and also, Cyndi Lauper has the same birthday as me! June 22nd! That is oddly enough also super present day! Rock on!

Music is probably one of the most important things in my life. I can pretty much think of a song for every occasion. If I’m driving to some sort of fair or carnival in the fall, I’m probably listening to “It’s a Shame About Ray” by the Lemonheads. If it’s the spring, I’m blasting “It’s It” by the Sugarcubes. If it’s late fall, “If I had a Gun” by the Dead Milkmen is playing, and if it’s the winter, you’ll be certain to find me endulging in Guided By Voices’ “Jellyfish Reflector” …

Those of you who know me may or may not know my favorite band or my favorite song, but that’s what this post is about. Back in 9th grade, I saw a song on MTV called “Somebody to Shove” by a band called Soul Asylum. This song changed my life. On a whim, I went out and purchased a few albums by this band, the second of which being “Made To Be Broken”. If you listen to one album in your entire life, make it this one. I don’t even know how to explain what this album did to me. Each song on the album rips through me and makes me happy to be alive. That’s the only way I can describe it. Some songs just do that to me.

After I bought that album, I couldn’t stop. It became like an obsession. I went out and got everything I could by that band. And that is where the story of Crashing Down begins.

I was on a French Club trip for high school. It was 9th Grade. We stopped at some silly mall…. I think it was the Rockaway mall, and they had a Sam Goody. I picked up an album called “While You Were Out” by Soul Asylum. I couldn’t wait to listen to it. It was the followup to Made To Be Broken. I was pretty sure that it couldn’t possibly be as good as Made To Be Broken, but still…

I got onto the bus and pulled out my gigantic disc man (this was the early 90’s and diskmen were still huge and really bulky). I put the album in. Track 1 went by… it was all right. Track 2, yeah, it’s okay…. track 3… hm… maybe I should turn this off… Track 4…. ….. …. ….

I don’t know how to describe this song. I don’t really know what to say. All I know is that when I heard this song… i decided right then and there that this song was the best song that ever existed and that it would be my favorite song no matter what. It was called Crashing Down. I don’t know what exactly makes it so fantastic, but I think it’s a combination of the melodic guitar and the fact that the band members are singing together through the whole song and it sounds really good (although it makes the words a little hard to decipher at times)

I sat back, closed my eyes and put the song on repeat. This was MY song.

It was then that I began to listen to the lyrics. (I’m going to type them now, but be warned, I really don’t have a clue what he’s saying in the second verse. If anyone can help me out, i’d really appreciate it) Anyway, here we go:

Crashing Down - Soul Asylum

Dyin’ on a bed of roses in the middle of the night
Woke up in a cold dark basement, lookin’ to the candle light
Up all night, still he can’t come Crashing Down
With the ghost of 1000 miles crawlin’ over me

Here’s to fallin’ off the world’s dark side
Driftin’ in alone with the morning sky
Ridin’ on an all night train through the Crystal Cave
Where the moonlight shines prepare for a brighter day

Where the bar rooms are all barren and evening is so still
Can you see it in your heart to let me in?

Did they hand you the reigns only knowing you’d lose
They lull you to sleep, tell you not to confuse
When the leaves on the trees come Crashing Down (don’t time pass slowly)
Seasons don’t change when you’re spinning around

Here’s to fallin’ off the world’s dark side
Driftin’ in alone with the morning sky
Ridin’ on an all night train through the Crystal Cave
Where the moonlight shines prepare for a brighter day

Where the bar rooms are all barren and evening is so still
Can you see it in your heart to let me in?

LET ME IN!

It was not only my song. It was my song of hope.
I wanted to go to this crystal cave. When I was sad, I would picture myself riding on one of those little mine cart things through this cave of beautiful crystals..

I just did a search for lyrics for this song, and on most of the Soul Asylum lyrics pages they have every song but this one. Why does a song that touched my life so much get so little love!?

I want to spread this song. To the people who read this, go out and find this song. Listen to it, and let me know what you think of it. I want to share it with everyone because it is SUCH a good song.

Wow, this entry was serious. I promise I’ll redeem myself next time!